Such a funny-sounding word.

Today the agenda is simple: reinvent myself. Become sophisticated. Grow up.

My Panera Bread iced coffee cheers me on as I research job openings and polish my resume until it squeaks. I flip through hairstyle magazines to see what I could do to look like a business-professional version of Katie Holmes.

I’m setting up meetings, coordinating projects, paying bills. I’m like the girl in that Cake song who “uses a machete to cut through red tape.” Almost.

And then it’s time for the simplest of the day’s business–redeeming my coupon for a free pastry. It’s a pumpkin spice muffin with sugary goodness on top. Keeps the same classy vibe as my coffee.

One bite and my new dress is covered in bits of goodness. One exhale and the powdery sugar topping decorates my laptop keyboard. One napkin is no defense.

Maybe tomorrow the sophistication will kick in.